to be in a relationship....

Is it really a relationship? Does he really care? Its strange how I am afraid of this! because he is 5 years younger! I always knew I would be in a relationship with a younger guy! but why now! I have known him for 2 years now! so why now? May be I should just enjoy it and go with the flow.

Fed up

I am fed up with not having love in my life. I always wonder what's wrong? why is it not happening? I decided today, I will open my heart a bit. May be I am the one who was pushing love away!

To work .....

I am in a new job that I can't swollow. I mean its like a test from God to my ability to endure. Me and that work do not match. They do not like me and I do not like them. I don't know it looks like I am not staying. I am never happy at any job, and I wonder why! I think its me! I should change my outlook at the job at hand. I should stop complaining and start living. It seems I will never have the job I had at Emirates again. I am afraid I will never find ajob that I like. I am afraid I will never find my true calling. I want to be fullfilled and satisfied. I know its hard these days with everybody being de-motivated and all. But, I have to get my act together.

Me and that guy

Its strange how I feel so close to that guy although I only met him once in my life. He is such a good guy that if we were in better circumstances I would have fell in love with him. For years I dreamt about a guy like him and when it comes true, it comes in the wrong form. I mean he is much younger, but he is so wise. I don't know what teh future carries for me and him, but I think I better end the flow of my emotions now. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. I feel left out in the cold without him. Last night thinking about all this made me tense. I mean every time I think I am falling in love, its with the wrong guy. I don't mean by wrong being bad, but he's just not a good match.

Satisfaction and Gratitude

The cure to life's problems and boredom is satisfaction and gratitude. There are people in this life who are less fortunate than you. Think about it, no matter how grave your problem is, there is always somebody with a worse problem. So be thankful for what God gave you, and start enjoying your life as it is, not like you wanted it to be.

me and the mythical character Love

I have been chasing love my whole life to no avail. So I decided I will let it chase me instead. Once I had feelings overflowing from me to almost every body I meet, and most of them did not deserve it. I mean love in general not just that one between man and woman. I never had a boyfriend because i was never really in love, and love to me is sacred. Most of the guys whom I like are younger, I always wonder why! I always thought that love is a playground and I need somebody to play with me. But I discovered its a battlefield that I can't win because I am too innocent.

foreign Land

The whirlwind romance I always wanted,
Is no where to be found.
I searched for it under the trees,
It was always fleeting like a leaf,
Drifting through air carried to a foreign faraway land.
I found it in the eyes of a man still a boy in spirit.
In his eyes was a promise of undiscovered shores,
Waiting for me to unravel their mysteries.
In his eyes was an innocence,
Of somebody who has known betrayal,
Yet believes in the purity of the human soul.
He is an iced late among hot drinks in a hot summer day,
When he smiles firecrackers lit up the sky.
He taught me to live the moment ,
And forget about tomorrow and yesterday.
He told m today is here to stay.
He makes me still believe in the mythical character; Love.
That unicorn I always chase.
I needed a man as pure as snow ,
To unblock my creativity,
To bare my soul,
As a banana is peeled to be eaten,
As the gem needs cleaning to shine,
My heart needed him to love again.
Will his arms be my velvet lounge where I finally rest?